Greensville, NC  October 27, 2006:  Getting up wasn't hard for me.  I didn't feel that bad.  Zoms had a conversation with one of Lark's roommates through the bathroom door.  He said he couldn't hear her because he was in the shower.  She really had to go to the bathroom.

Lark offered me cowboy coffee and a bag of bagels which I gladly accepted.  We packed up and went to this Mediterranean breakfast place where I got high score on Ms. Pacman.  The turkish coffee was sweet and tasty.  We all had wraps and thanked Lark for showing us the place.  We took her home and said our goodbyes.

The rain went on all day and did not clear up.  The drive was pretty short, but when we got to the Turducken house it was dark and raining enough to make an annoying situation.  We met Jeff and he took us to eat sandwiches at this late night snack place.  The house had a basket ball hoops game.  I forgot to mention that we stopped at this little antique shop that was just a record shop with videos.  Phil, Zoms, and Seth bought records, but Phil or Zoms, I don't know who, bought "On the Bus with my Sister" which is this Rosie O'Donnell movie where she acts retarded.  Well, Zoms put it in at the house and it was retarded.  Yip-yip showed up while we were watching it.  The guys at the house had prepared this trashcan of fruit punch with real fruit and ever clear.  I helped bring the keg indoors.

This guy who is friends with Dan Deacon went on first.  He did this really slow rapping thing.  It was ok and the crowd seemed pretty into it.  I was excited that there were lots of people showing up.  The guy name dropped Yip-yip.

Ear Power was supposed to go next, but they were no where to be found.  So we volunteered to go next.  It was raining, and loading in proved to be rather difficult.  There were suddenly people all around.

Our show was a success.  It was not for everybody, but we got a great response, especially since we set up on adjacent walls rather than all together.  Orafice got everyone dancing and the floor felt like it was going to break.

Yip-yip decided not to play.  It was a combination of problems:  too many drunk people, not a big enough PA (you could barely hear my vocals), and utter chaos due to poor organization.  Ear Power played and put on an awesome show.  Their names were Devon and Sarah, and they also had the floor almost breaking. 
 
This girl, named Brit, asked Seth if we would stay at her large clean apartment.  She was this fast-talking single girl who was looking for one of us to also be single.  We disappointed her, but she still was hospitable and let us stay at her home.

Yip-yip also stayed there, but Brian slept in the car because Yip-yip now had a rule that someone had to sleep in the car if there was any question to whether their car would get broken into.

Brit kept comparing us all to famous actors, but ending the comparison with "but not as cute."  It was weird.  She kept slamming doors and talking way too fast.  Zoms and I went to sleep on the futon.

Denton, Tx  May 19, 2006:  Phil was asking for a pearl necklace as we were loading up our suitcases in garbage bags, stacking equipment tetris-style.  Escape from Planet Love was playing on the computer and we had just finished practicing our set which went "yellow rainbow," "zom zoms fad," "hyper lenny," "strange, woolen, floating jaw," "septagon crazy," "easter in the haunted house," "deciduous prophet," "love disease," "i can't dance," "tense tents," and "eeee oooo." It had been decided that we would do "static" if we needed to.  A pretty strong set; thirty minutes of music depending on Zoms' timing on out Genesis cover.

Feelings were positive going into it.  We had just gotten a three star review, a go-ahead on distribution through crystal clear, we had played with El Aviador Dro in April, and our sound was tighter than a ditch-digger's ass clamped with a Black and Decker vice by a burly, sado-masachistic co-worker.  The shows that Zoms, Phil, and Seth had lined up all had potential, and everyone felt we were doing well enough live to where it was going to be a fucking tire blowout.  Fuck, we just had a tire sputterfuck problem.  Ah well, everything will be a-okay.

We will probably spend as much on the tires as we did on instrument cables.  This prediction almost came true, I was twenty-three dollars short, but everything was fine, so I feel almost psychic at this point.  We only lost an hour.  There was this extremely tense moment when the mechanic asked us, "how far do you intend to go?"

"Um.  Pretty far.  We're going all the way to Indianapolis," chirruped Zoms.

"Well, your air pump in the back of the van is going..."

"Oh no, it always does that," Phil cut him short.  And so, the most frequently asked question of our last tour seemed to almost make us cry.

Denton has got a clock tower in the middle of it.  We went to Eighth Continent and the Undoing of David Wright were sound checking with the digital recorder.  We spoke to them and then sped over to the clock tower, parked next to it, and went to eat at J & J's.  Beer, pizza, breadsticks, and water were consumed while this humpty dumpty jism squirt gave us the evil eye.  I mimicked the effects his lard ass calfs had on our table due to rumbling planks under his fat feet.

We returned to the Eight Continent and loaded our equipment in.  It was Lar's basement converted into a venue.  He had painted these boards black and in hot pink was written "Eighth Continent" in the David Wright font.  Inside, it was quite hot and snug.  By snug, I mean tiny.  Our equipment almost took up half of the basement.  The Sonammbulists started doing their thing with nanoloop and TVs.  Phil and I began drinking the drinks we had bought on the way back from J & J's.

Cry Blood Apache called and they also had a tire blowout.  Lars said we should probably go on before to give them time to get there.  He mentioned the fact that the cops could not be provoked any further with the late shows because the Eight Continent was on the verge of getting a ticket.

Aaron from the Undoing had this amazing fu manchu going on that I wish I took a picture of.  I got to meet little Ani, Heather and Lars' child, and lead singer of Einstern Kindergaarten.  She was going nuts and jumping around because she was going to watch Pee Wee's playhouse. 

We played a good set.  These guys with Canon XL1s taped our show.  Phil made tons of oozinator jokes and I felt like we were working people into a frenzy.  There was an eight-year-old kid there who bought a copy of "one brain."  He was Pag's brother.  Zoms sold a t-shirt and Cry Blood Apache arrived.

Shane from David Wright guested on bass and I thought it sounded alright.  Ben played this guitar with one string.  It's too bad Jason wasn't there with those pants.  My favorite was the one that was like "one Mississippi, two Mississippi, etc."  It reminded me of Courtney Bowers.  I met Ryan from the Strange Boys and he said he wanted to set up a show with Zom Zoms.

I got pretty drunk off of PBR and Sparks.  I talked lots of nonsense about abortion to Esther, who turned out to be Daniquah's sister.  I rambled on and on staring into krinkling embers in a former bonfire behind the house.  I didn't make sense and went and talked to the Pag kids while the Undoing played in the background, underneath the house.  They had dressed up in the old school garbage bag with duct tape uniform.

All the guys from Mission Giant showed up and were disappointed that we had already played, but at least they got to see the Undoing of David Wright.  People started heading home, some people talked about a party on Fry street.  Lars, Heather, Zoms, and I decided to go to the Waffle house.  This was a good idea because I was starved for the Waffle House geasiness that can lay you on your ass.  Zoms was, of course, enraptured by the numerous waffle house songs that he could play on the jukebox.  He played our favorites:  "Special Lady," "Grill Operator," etc.  I ordered eggs and hashbrowns and shared a waffle with Heather and Lars.  Lars had twelve different colors of hair, from baby blue, to light purple, to off-white, etc.

Zoms called Phil.  He was smoking hash at the Fry House and said that he'd be back soon.  We all rolled out out bed rolls, pulled the hide away out and got busy... sleeping.

Addendums:  Seth was with us at the Waffle House.  Seth went to the bathroom at J & J's and that Humpty Dumpty jism squirt made this astonished face when he walked in on Seth.  Seth just flushed and left.  We heard this song called "Dirty Little Secret" that is the "Rock that Man in the Boat" of this tour.  Zoms has the coolest bubble sunglasses goggles.  Phil is thinking about buying that overgrown spaceship restaurant outside Dallas on I-35.

Sam invited us over. I'll put the video on youtube one of these days.

May 29th, 2007:  I arrived on time to tee off with an old man named Terry.  They accepted my golf coupon.  There were so many deer out there.  I played pretty well.  Terry was on a time share from a resort in Florida.  He worked the computers for the Dept. of Agriculture in Florida.  He asked about me and I made up a lot of stuff because I didn't want to talk about how I've had the same job for six years.  I told him that I was working at a movie theater and that I was from Canada.  He would go:  Damn-nabit!  whenever he hit a shot bad.  When we finished he bought me a beer and we talked about my golf coupon.  The owner happened to be in the men's grill.  I talked about the golf pro who went mysteriously missing after he bought a camera from me.  Poor Terry was confused because of my awful habit of lying about what I do and then falling back into the truth.  The owner said that the missing golf pro was still missing.  Then I went home and recorded a new version of Mrs. Bray.